Debating The Morning Wood

It’s a big day for us in the Mile High City, what with the Presidential Debate coming to town at The University Named For Our City But Really For Rich Folk of Denver tonight. Everyone’s excited to be part of such a historic destruction of Mitt Romney, who has been practicing his zingers in debate prep all week. Nothing like a well-rehearsed zinger, right George Costanza? What could possibly go wrong?

Anyway, all hilarious joking aside, we really are excited to have the debates come to town. It gives us a chance to really be part of the Presidential election, which is cool, and since Colorado is a swing state and still somehow up for grabs (we must have a lot of angry white males around), there’s a big rally today prior to the debate for President Obama. I’m going; should be rowdy. And then tomorrow I’m accompanying one of the greatest wine writers in the world the city to check out an Obama rally on Thursday morning. These are heady times, bros.

So, lots happening. Let’s get to the links. [Read more…]

Morning Wood Replaced by Morning Wood

Well, that didn’t take long.

Three weeks, 48 regular season games, countless fuck-ups, tons of hand-wringing, justification for bad officiating from the darkest corners of Afrika the internet and sports talk radio, excuse-making by the league, a South Park parody (more on that in a moment), and only one game where the outcome was decided by the referees and not the players on the field.

Whew! It’s over! (For non-sports fans — WHY ARE YOU HERE? — click HERE.)

This should be a celebratory moment, but I’d like to take a few seconds and just expand on an idea I had the other day.

Fuck you, Roger Goodell. Fuck you right in the pants. Fuck you up to your gingery fucking hair. Fuck you sideways with a chainsaw. Fuck. You. [Read more…]

The Morning Wood: Akin Breaky Heart

We’re trying something new today. Let us know in the comments if you like it.

Todd Akin’s (R-Your Vagina) terrible, horrible, very bad day just continues on without an end in sight. His small lead in Missourah has disappeared, almost before he was finished with his masterful phrasing of “legitimate rape.” Senator Claire McCaskill, once legitimately worried about losing to the Tea Party-backed upstart, hasn’t had to say a word. And poor Mr. Akin just keeps talking.

He’s lost his backing, both from the GOP and the Tea Party. The entire country of Republicans — seeing that this could cost them their shots at office too — have called upon him to resign. He just says no, cuts more ads saying “sorry for my explosive boner!“, and goes on another talk show to once again justify what he said.

In the words of Springfield Police Chief Wiggum, “dig up, stupid.” [Read more…]

The Morning Wood: The Worst Thing You Can Do

I made a big mistake this weekend, you guys. While catching up on sports, politics and other subjects for this-ah here bloggy blog which I bring to you from the relative comfort of my mother’s basement (The Bunk works in his grandmother’s basement; FUN FACT: Bloggers are incapable of being a) employable or b) homeowners), I quite unfortunately ventured into the comments section of a website we all know but which shall remain nameless (it starts with an H and ends with an UFFINGTONPOST). There, I found all manner of humanity, spraying humanity like so much jetsam and flotsam in outer space.

Most of it didn’t make sense. Much of it had nothing to do with the topic at hand, and that was true on almost every article I came across. The articles roughing up the GOP had comments instantly mocking the President; those calling into question the President’s actions were met with scorn from those on the left; and articles about celebrity happenings were received with calls of “who cares?” and “why is this a topic on a major website?” and petty disagreements framed as factual assertions. It was really quite something.

I weep for the future. [Read more…]

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