Euro 2012 is Bread and Circuses for Peasants

Soccer fans

From the desk of J. Daniel Bateman, QC
Private Secretary & Legislative Liaison
By Appointment to HRH The Duke of Lancaster
Royal Crescent
Bath BA1
United Kingdom

19th June 2012

Ladies and Gentlemen, and I use those terms charitably:

At roughly 18:45 Greenwich Mean Time today, you will gather around your hand-cranked teevee sets to take in the last two group games of the 2012 UEFA European Championships, brought to you by Adidas, Cannon, Castrol, Coca-Cola, Continental, Orange, Telekomunikacja Polska, Hyundai-Kia, Carlsberg, McDonald’s, SHARP, and the Djarum Tobacco Company of Indonesia.

I, as a representative of your betters, cannot adequately express with words my delight at the news that so many of you colonists have re-gained an appreciation for football. And by “football”, I mean football, not that vulgar human demolition derby pantomimed in tights, shoulder-pads, and cosmetic helmets by minorities ill equipped for any station in life that does not involve inflicting traumatic brain injuries on one another for the entertainment of the masses. [Read more…]

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