It’s been a while. I know baby, I know I letcha down. But I’ma slide on up close to you gurrrl… I’ma slide on up… and make sweet love to your eyeballs.
Where to begin, my lovely reader-lumps? My sincerest apologies for my extended absence, but I had “Serious And Important Shit To Do.” What shit? Well, mostly, growing some fucking cancer.
Now before I kick this off, east Dallas style, let me begin by saying I’M FINE. Fine like that Amber Rose chick.
Nah, I’m just fine fine fine. I’ve got Thyroid cancer, had it for ages, got diagnosed in 2009, went through all the shenanigans then, and have been merrily bitching along until I moved to Colorado and had to get all new doctors (and all new scans to establish my fine-ness). Well, unfortunately, the tests did not establish my fine-ness to the degree I’d hoped.
So I have cancer again. It’s all in the lymph nodes this time, and the solution is to cut it out and that’s that. This is not REAL cancer. This was caught really early (and totally accidentally), so it’s ANNOYING cancer. Two things before I get to the point:
- This is not CANCER cancer. It’s not balls, colon, lung, liver, brain, skin, pancreatic, ovarian, vajayjay, or boobies. THOSE are real cancers, and if my “I have the cancer” announcement makes you feel sort of sympathetic, please go donate some money to cancer research (but not that Susan G. Komen shit) so that people with REAL cancer might have a shot.
- I’ve got like… 4 doctors (and not your funny Colorado doctors wink wink) just DYING to prescribe me anything I could possibly need, so while I’m recovering, I might look like I’ve been attacked by ninjas, but the world around me is gonna look like fucking STUDIO 54. [Read more…]