Has The Morning Wood Got a Deal For YOU

Artist's rendering

Artist’s rendering

Your Morning Wood is nothing if not a dealmaker, people, so let’s be frank: when something comes along as good as this, we have no choice but to write it up and deliver it to your plate first thing in the morning.

I’ll back up. Have you ever wished to live in pristine wilderness and mountainy goodness? Ever wished you could shop within the confines of your own walled city? Need to find your chi in the backwoods of Idaho?

Do you hate Libruls enough that you’d completely cut all of them out of your life because they’re not nearly patriotic enough to be near you and your 8,000 Amurrkan flags, and would like to live a Librul-free existence?

Have I got a deal for YOU. [Read more…]


Boca Raton Wishes Its Morning Wood Wasn’t Chemically Enhanced

Nightmare fuel.

Two virile whippersnappers will show up tonight to debate foreign policy in Boca Raton, Florida. They’re going to discuss sending American citizens to die in the place where American citizens go to retire and die. It really is quite poetic.

In the Red Corner, Lord High Hairgel Sir Mittens of Romneyshire will continue to advocate bombing Iran, and Iraq, and Egypt, and Canada, getting the old ladies all excited in their swimsuit areas (and judging by the size of Ann’s swimsuit, that could be almost anywhere) with his preemptive strike talk and his fierce defense of Israel for his buddies in the region. Sounds like sound policy to me! Unless he changes his mind before the debates and tracks back towards the center. Let’s face it: He’s done this before.

And in the Blue Corner, Kenyan Prime Minister Barrack Hussein NOBAMA, a Thinking Man’s President (if that thinking man were from darkest Afrika), one who believes in looking before he leaps, and using diplomatic efforts whenever possible or until our diplomats are killed and dragged into the streets of Libya, which he will then call/not call it an act of terror in the Rose Garden.

And we need… let’s see… 90 minutes for this shitshow? Why? We know Mittens’ response to everything, and we have seen four years of Barack’s choices.

The Bunk will be along shortly to discuss tonight’s pre-debate update to the Romney CPU, and as always, Mlle. Bebe Gottbach will be liveblogging the actual debate so The Bunk and I may continue killing ourselves with alcohol. Gonna be a big night, I guess.
[Read more…]

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