Win Money Here!

According to a statistic from my more-than-faulty memory, I’m better than .500 this year on NFL picks. So HIGH FIVE, we can all make money gambling on professional sporting men running into each other at high rates of speed! EXCELSIOR!

Lots of crazy things happening with NFL bets recently. Last night’s Seahawks/Niners game had an estimated $75 Million swing in the closing moments when noted psychopath Jim Harbaugh declined a safety on a penalty in the end zone in order to take over possession and run out the clock, leaving the game with a 7 point win when the line was 7.5. Oops. Sorry, people who took the Niners laying points. That’s why you SHOULDN’T GAMBLE, is what someone would say if they were sanctimonious assholes. Which I very clearly am not.

Of course, last week was almost thrown into upheaval when Denver spotted the Chargers 24 points and looked like two retards humping a doorknob for the better part of the first half. Then of course, Peyton Manning happened and we all lived happily ever after and got to laugh at Philip Rivers doing Philip Rivers things the end. Hooray for that. And hooray for winning.

Speaking of winning, let’s heal the rift in this most contentious political season. With winning. Winning the way it was intended: together.

Home teams, as always, in CAPS. Let’s GET IT ON. [Read more…]

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