Tonight’s Festivities

Well, it’s been quite a day for us. Guess we’ll just turn in and call it a night. Maybe make some tea. Read a good book. Masturbate ourselves to sleep.

PSYCHE!

We’re totes going to be LIVE LIVE LIVE for the MOST IMPORTANT ELECTION OF OUR LIVES UNTIL THE NEXT ONE®, and you don’t want to miss any of the festivities.

First things first: Our good friend and the only PhD on staff here, Mlle. Bébé Gottbach – Ph.D, will be live-blogging the events right here on this very website. Bring your cocktails, your snarky comments, and your huddled masses and join us for what should be a debauch-ariffic night with one of the finest live-blogstresses on the planet. And if you think I’m kidding, YOU BETTA ASK SOMEBODAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Secondly also too, Detective Bunk Moreland, The Bowtie and Magic Sam will all be Live-Tweeting the evening from our respective and extremely partisan parties across the Denver area; You may follow the updates and contribute by searching #DDPElection and by using that hashtag in your own tweets. It’s like you’re a part of the show, only not really because you haven’t given money to our reelection campaign so obviously it’s just like real Democracy.

You don’t want to miss this! Election results! Grab-assery! Dick Jokes!

You’ll pay for the whole seat, but you’ll only be using the EDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDGE!!!!1!ONE!!

Debate Night Grab-Assery

To all men who shall look upon this, a greeting:

For it was so written that on Three October in the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Twelve, a debate was to be held that pitted the President of These United States against the challenger, The Stormin’ Mormon, Willard “Mittens” Romney, live from a college campus wherein American children are loaded up with debt they will carry for the rest of their lives.

It is in the spirit of this great debate (and the great debt befalling our younger generations) that we offer up the finest in Live Blog Technology, hosted by our own Mlle. Bébé Gottbach, Ph.D.

Join us starting at 8:30 Eastern Time for margaritas, scotch, beer, vodka, shots, bodyshots, mind erasers and enough booze to shake your dick at.

In addition, The Bunk will be live-tweeting over at @DailyDickpunch, which you can follow at the right margin of this very screen! Freedom!

Until then, assholes.

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