Come And Listen To My Story About A Man Named Jay

So this past weekend, ESPN analyst Tom Jackson got up in arms about Chicago Bears Jay Cutler not saying hello to a security guard and that this proves the point that There’s Something About Jay Cutler, where it may be nothing but it’s still something.

And that prompted the likes of Awful Announcing to go into detail about what goes into the Extremely Stupid Pundit Narrative.

But in Cutler’s case, the narrative isn’t always about how Awful Announcing describes it — there are those guilty of making Cutler out to be better than he really is. [Read more…]

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The Morning Wood is Reverse Racist

Good morning, you pitiful peons!

If you haven’t heard, Chris Brown is a talentless scumbag pop “singer” with a predilection for violent behavior, including that time he famously beat up his girlfriend and fellow pop superstar Rihanna.

Recently, Mr. Brown has been repeatedly and publicly mocked by Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5), a very talented comic writer and possibly the funniest woman on Twitter. To say that Young Master Brown did not take kindly to these remarks would be an understatement; the noted male pop diva eventually deactivated his Twitter account after promising to sexually assault Ms. Johnson with his feces, or something, in one of the more epic nuclear meltdowns in the history of that microblogging service.  [Read more…]

DDP Classic: Broncos Fans Get Rare Unity Opportunity

[Note: Denver Broncos training camp opens today at Dove Valley, and it’s perhaps the most anticipated camp opening since John Elway came back to go for his second straight Super Bowl championship. As such, we’re re-running a Classic DDP article about the arrival of Peyton Manning in Denver… and the hope that he can repair the breaches left by Jay Cutler, Josh McDaniels, Kyle Orton and Tim Tebow. Enjoy.]

It’s been stressful as hell to be a Bronco fan the last seven years or so. It’s rare that a place in flyover country makes national news on the regular with quarterback maneuvers and play, but Denver’s had lots of national attention for all the wrong reasons for, well, as far back as I can really remember.

Sure, everyone remembers McCutlergate, but it goes back farther than that. [Read more…]

Orton Release Gives QB New Life

"God, I can't wait to get out of here."

If you didn’t know this already, professional football is a different occupation than the ones you and I have.

Imagine working somewhere. You go to work every day, give all you’ve got to the organization. You have some successes, too. No, your stock isn’t the highest, and you haven’t bested every competitor. But you’re winning certain battles, losing others, and looking fairly good while doing so.

Then your boss comes to you and tells you to enter a backup role, since there’s a hotter prospect with some new ideas. Not only are you not taking the lead on projects, you’re barely there; a footnote in the history of the organization.

This is what happened to Kyle Orton, who rode a good Chicago defense in his rookie campaign to an 11-5 record while Rex Grossman was injured, made the playoffs, and then was promptly benched as soon as Grossman was healthy. Just didn’t seem right.

[Read more…]

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