Euro 2012: A Progress Update on Group B

Herr Gomez makes it two against the Dutch

Top o’ the morning to all three of you!

W. Mittens Romney thinks you’re lazy scum , but we think you’re pretty OK and have therefore crafted this review of the first two matchdays in the Dreaded Group of Death for your entertainment and/or procrastination at your menial employment.

After the Portuguese eked out a victory over Denmark yesterday, your correspondent prayed to Zombie Jesus that the Netherlands would beat Germany 3-2. This would have put all four teams on the exact same points, goal difference, and goals scored and would have made for a completely frantic final day of Group B action. But it wasn’t to be, because Islam is the one true faith and God hates us all.
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