The Morning Wood Is A Winner

Good morning and hello! Did you win the Powerballs last night? You did NOT win the Powerballs last night? Imagine my surprise at this surprising and shocking news! SURPRISEFASE.

Powerballs, in the words of Detective Bunk Moreland, is nothing but a tax on people who can’t do math and daydream too much. In short, he purchased three tickets.

Your intrepid correspondent, however, DID win. At life. And blogging. And your favorite dick joke/soshulist propaganda blogging site is always a winner. For you. For freedom. For links and liberty. [Read more…]

The Morning Wood is Reverse Racist

Good morning, you pitiful peons!

If you haven’t heard, Chris Brown is a talentless scumbag pop “singer” with a predilection for violent behavior, including that time he famously beat up his girlfriend and fellow pop superstar Rihanna.

Recently, Mr. Brown has been repeatedly and publicly mocked by Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5), a very talented comic writer and possibly the funniest woman on Twitter. To say that Young Master Brown did not take kindly to these remarks would be an understatement; the noted male pop diva eventually deactivated his Twitter account after promising to sexually assault Ms. Johnson with his feces, or something, in one of the more epic nuclear meltdowns in the history of that microblogging service.  [Read more…]

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