Euro 2012: And Then There Were Eight

Ahoy!

It is probably time for you to orient yourself towards St. James’ Gate, Dublin, assume the position, drink of the Blood of Christ Jameson and give thanks to Guinness and His prophet Smithwick (Praise Be Upon Him) that the quarterfinals of the Euro 2012 RAYCESSISM & fútbol pageant are set to begin (2:45 PM Eastern on ESPN).

What’s that you say? Your New Year’s resolution was to stop drinking in the morning, alone at your work desk? NO ONE ADHERES TO NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS, YOU SILLY FUCK. Just make sure you chew some gum to mask the smell of booze in case you’re called upon to do something productive, which is unlikely, because you are a meaningless vestigial organ of a corporate person.

So, the footballing wheat has been separated from the chaff, and only eight nations remain in this glorious competition. In the spirit of fair play, good, clean entertainment, and beautiful Eastern European women, WHO YA GOT? [Read more…]

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