The Morning Wood: Rejoice

So. How’s everybody doing today? Everyone feeling lively and quick and definitely not hung over at all? Yeah, definitely me too as well.

Truth is, the faithful correspondents from Your Most Trusted Dick Joke Source® had a bit of a late night, what with all the nail-biting and the picture posing and the Gangnam Style-ing that happened over the last, oh, let’s call it 12 hours or so. Following Kenyan Usurper Barry Hussein Soetero NOBAMA’s glorious re-election to the highest office in the land, we danced and frolicked and wondered why we’d worried in the first place. We really had no reason to do so.

You know all that stuff about Lord Touch of Gray Mittens Hussein O’Romney being unlikable because he’s, like, a rich guy who holds down gay kids and shaves their heads to teach them a lesson and then fucking brags about it like some kind of… some kind of… guy who does shit like that? Know all that stuff about him being out of touch with REAL AMURRKA because his wife’s fucking dancing horse gets better healthcare than most humans we know? You remember how he said it wasn’t his problem to deal with half the fucking country? Yeah, that shit matters. [Read more…]

The Morning Wood Calls a Bluff

Remember yesterday? Nah, me either. But it was a big day, yesterday. Lots of things happening. We reported on the Romney/Ryan campaign stop at Red Rocks on a picture perfect, warm Colorado night in October, and we told you about Donald Trump’s “bombshell” that wasn’t a bombshell at all, but was really more of a warm fart in a cold church.

To each his own, I guess.

Well, we were very impressed with Sir Mittens’ ability to get Kid Rock to play “music” for the old people in attendance, and extremely impressed he managed to get 12,000 people off the couch and up the hills to Red Rocks for a political rally! Obviously, the tide has turned and we will see glorious return to American superiority under a President Romney starting early in the morning on November 7th, because as the saying goes, “as big crowds at Red Rocks go, so goes the nation.” Or something like that.
[Read more…]

This Morning Wood Was Built By A Government Program

Sometimes, you just need a government program to accomplish something which otherwise never would have happened.

Do you see that statue? That’s called “The CCC Worker,” and it’s stationed near the upper lot of the Red Rocks Amphitheater in Morrison, Colorado. It’s a beautiful piece of bronze, overlooking the park, famous concert venue and, further east, the city of Denver. And it represents an idea. An idea that when we need it the most, great things can be built at the behest of our government that improve life, not just for the citizens of a given city, but also for the lives of the workers who get jobs for a long-term project.

The plaque which adorns the statue says this:
“CCC Worker”
Erected in 2004 by Chapter 7, NACCCA
in cooperation with the City and County of Denver.
Dedicated in honor of the 3 million workers
who served in the Civilian Conservation Corps
from 1933 to 1942 and to those members of
Co 1848, SP-13-C, Morrison, Colorado
who were the builders of this
Red Rocks Amphitheatre from 1936 to 1941.

“What an obscure thing to bring up, Sam,” you’re saying. “What does this have to do with anything?” Great question.

Last night, there was a rally at Red Rocks Amphitheater for the Romney/Ryan campaign, featuring Kid Rock and some generic “we’ll put a boot in yer ass” country music “stars.” And the place was packed with about 10,000 Denver-area Republicans, none of whom seem to understand the irony of a situation where they’re chanting about how they “built that” while a statue overlooks the spectacle saying, in effect, “No, you didn’t. The Government did.” [Read more…]

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