Euro 2012: A Progress Update on Group C

Fernando Torres is bringing SEXI back.

Aloha, motherbitches!

Your be-hated correspondent has been enjoying every minute of this quadrennial festival of thinly veiled tribalism, xenophobia, jingoism, and outright RAYCESSM, oh and also football. How about you?

To-day is the last day of the second of three matches for each participant nation in the tournament. As just the latest of several indignities suffered by Yours Falsely, I will be unable to watch the second half of England’s almost certain defeat at the hands (feet?) of a shower of Swedish bastards, because of something called a “staff meeting”. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

Oh wellz, I will remain vigilant, not check Twitter, and catch up later using ESPN®’s brilliant WatchESPN™ application for mah iPad. Seriously, if you have a cable/internet subscription through a participating provider, and a smartphone/tablet/laptop/PC, I command you to get this app.

In the meantime, here’s what’s been going on in Group C, which might have rivaled Group B for the “Group of Death” moniker had all of Ireland’s most athletic specimens not emigrated to Australia 170 years ago, for freedom prison. [Read more…]

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