The Cockpunch: Rule of Law Edition

In just a few minutes, the American peasantry will learn of the fate of the Dreaded Robomneycare, alternatively known to attorneys and undersexed wonks as the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act.

The prognosticating experts of are in a bullish mood this morning, assigning a 73.5 percent probability that Johnny Roberts and the Supremes will rule that the individual mandate portion of O’Bummercare is odious to the memory of our nation’s Founding Slave Owners.

Libtardz all over the land are wringing their soft, effeminate hands over the possible death of the individual mandate at the, uh, hands of a delegitimized, nakedly political court. HOWEVAH, if this provision is struck down but mandatory coverage for pre-existing conditions is kept in place, the private health insurance industry will go belly up in a few short years. This is actually the best possible outcome if you want ‘Merica to join the rest of the civilized world and adopt a single-payer national health system but don’t mind cracking a few eggs (euphemism for allowing some sick poors to die) to get there.  [Read more…]

The Cockpunch: Newsroom Edition

The only reason I ordered HBO was to watch The Newsroom, Aaron Sorkin’s second take on the world of broadcast news (the first being the too-short-lived and very, very good SportsNight, which aired for three seasons on ABC), so when the reviews came out and they were… uh… let’s just call it “less than glowing with praise,” I was disappointed.

I didn’t need to be.

Sure, the dialog is more like a series of monologues, and some of the characters are a bit overwrought with grief about the death of the teevee newses in this country, but some of that was legit; everyone who ever got a degree in journalism had some of that idealism when they started. And sure, the lead character Will McAvoy, played quite well by our old favorite Jeff Daniels, in the opening scene laments the death of an America that never was, to wit:

Overall, this is a good show. The casting is sublime and well-thought, though I feel Sam Waterston’s part could have been played a bit more effectively by someone else — not unlike how I felt about Robert Guillaume in SportsNight. And while pontificating in the news room or holding an anchor ransom over communications between the control room and the studio is not something that happened, ever, and certainly not with 20 seconds to air, the show delivers on its primary purpose, which is to give a bit of a “what it’s like” to folks who have never been in a newsroom.

I sincerely don’t understand the furor. It’s a television show. It’s there for entertainment, not to be a teevee news making simulator. Christ, just watch it and shut up, or don’t watch it and shut up.

Of course, Dan Rather wrote this better than I ever could have. He’s seen more newsrooms than those bloggers who spent the better part of next week ripping Aaron Sorkin and his new show.

On to the links: [Read more…]

The Cockpunch: Civility Edition


Had an interesting morning yesterday, you guys.

As I do, I came down to my local coffee shop to toil over this here daily rundown of links and asshattery. I focused, dived in, and after getting there just after the shop opened, got out a bit prior to 7am. Good, quality, highly-productive Monday morning. Big fan of that stuff.

When I’d arrived, the shop had just opened, and had not switched on their credit card machine yet. So, long story short, they couldn’t ring me up for my coffee. What am I supposed to do, use cash? That’s for drugs and tamales on Federal, not for coffee in Wash Park. PRIORITIES. [Read more…]

The Cockpunch: Hot Time, Summer In The City Edition

Yep. It’s a thousand degrees outside. Okay, I overstate; it’s only like 750 degrees outside. Sorry I went overboard there, it’s just that I CAN’T FUCKING THINK BECAUSE I CAN’T MOVE BECAUSE EVERY PART OF ME IS STICKING TO EVERY OTHER PART OF ME, AND I’M MISERABLE.

I usually love Denver summers. When I was a kid, it would get hot, sure, usually no higher than 95 or so, with a few days over 100. And then, on most afternoons, we’d get a little rain to cool things off right before sunset. It was wonderful.

This is not that. I really, honestly and truly do not understand how anyone can feed you that “global warming is a myth” nonsense and do so with a straight face. These people are lying to you. You have my permission to slap one of them in the face. After doing so, grab them by the collar, and scream into their face, “STOP IT. STOP TELLING LIES, YOU PIECE OF SHIT.” Then just walk away.

Fun for the whole family. The Links: [Read more…]

The Cockpunch: LeBob Finally Wins Edition


It only took him nine years, and to be put into a big market with two other all stars and the best glue guy (Shane Battier) of the last 20 years, and to get almost every call possible on the way, but… sure, Congratulations, LeBob! You’ve proven that if you want something badly enough, and are willing to go to a team already stacked with talent while shunning the people and place that raised you, both as a human as a basketball player, good things can happen to you.

Imagine my relief. On to the links. [Read more…]

The Cockpunch: Chuck Klosterman Edition

So I’ve been in this cycle lately wherein I read Chuck Klosterman’s excellent Killing Yourself to Live, which is ostensibly about dead rock stars but also has several truths about our generation in this current day and age. It’s a marvelous read, and I recommend it to anyone who likes compelling writing, great storytelling, and many funny ha ha.

Thing of it is, I can’t put it down. I purchased it for Ye Olde iPad around Christmas, and have read it no fewer than three times since. Airports. Hanging at home. In the park. I can’t get enough of the stories, and of the writing style, that make Klosterman such a fun read.

So it was with great pleasure that I learned of Chuck’s ascension to the position of Ethicist with filthy librul rag The New York Times.

Do I know what an ethicist is, or does? No, I do not. Going out on a limb, I’d say it’s likely that he’s to write about ethics. Now, I have no personal knowledge of Mr. Klosterman’s personal ethics, nor his ability to write about them. However, I do feel he’s a fairly astute observer of humans and their motivations for action, so I think he’ll do quite well. Plus, I’ll get to read him more often.

And maybe I can finally put down Killing Yourself to Live. On to the links:
[Read more…]

The Cockpunch: Cats Are Evil Edition

The Bunk is a man with two cats. I only mention this because one of his cats, the Douchebag Formally Known As Rocky, wakes him up every morning before dawn by meowing and — get this — biting his face. The Bunk continues to soldier on with this “house pet” in the hopes that one of two things will happen: either the cat will stop biting his fucking face to wake him up, or that Shitty Kitty will accidentally fall out of his second story apartment window, accidentally not land on his feet and accidentally smash his face.

Offers to move this process along have not received a response.

Sigh. Cats, amirite? On to the links: [Read more…]

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