Today is Election Day in the land of the free and home of the brave. Yesterday, you read my endorsement of Mitt Romney, but some of my friends told me that the post seemed out of place. I figured it was just because Barack the Maleficent Magnificent has plenty of support in this corner of Al Gore’s Interwebs, but they made it clear that it was the tone and not the content. Therefore, let me be the lone voice of reason funded by private equity earnings, not redistributed soshulist wages like the librul gents behind this blog.
As a moderate pro-choice pro-gay rights Jewish loyal Republican, I felt the need to come to my man Mitt’s defense. Let me be clear – he’s not perfect. He’s moved too far right for my liking, in deference to the all-too-powerful social conservatives in my party. Like Michael Bloomberg, I would have been more excited about supporting Mitt Romney circa 2003 than Mitt Romney circa 2012, but nobody’s perfect.
As a kid, I was taught the expression “If your bubbe had baitzen, she’d be your zaidy” – for those who don’t speak Yiddush, this translates roughly into “If your grandmother had testicles, she’d be your grandfather.” In short, don’t use the word “if,” because it means nothing. This campaign has been riddled with “ifs” and these conditional statements don’t help the President at all. If only President Obama hadn’t inherited such a large deficit? If only the Republican Congress played ball? If only the economy would grow faster? If only, if only, if only… [Read more…]