What America Needs Right Now

Today is Election Day in the land of the free and home of the brave.  Yesterday, you read my endorsement of Mitt Romney, but some of my friends told me that the post seemed out of place.  I figured it was just because Barack the Maleficent Magnificent has plenty of support in this corner of Al Gore’s Interwebs, but they made it clear that it was the tone and not the content.  Therefore, let me be the lone voice of reason funded by private equity earnings, not redistributed soshulist wages like the librul gents behind this blog.

As a moderate pro-choice pro-gay rights Jewish loyal Republican, I felt the need to come to my man Mitt’s defense.  Let me be clear – he’s not perfect.  He’s moved too far right for my liking, in deference to the all-too-powerful social conservatives in my party.  Like Michael Bloomberg, I would have been more excited about supporting Mitt Romney circa 2003 than Mitt Romney circa 2012, but nobody’s perfect.

As a kid, I was taught the expression “If your bubbe had baitzen, she’d be your zaidy” – for those who don’t speak Yiddush, this translates roughly into “If your grandmother had testicles, she’d be your grandfather.”  In short, don’t use the word “if,” because it means nothing.  This campaign has been riddled with “ifs” and these conditional statements don’t help the President at all.  If only President Obama hadn’t inherited such a large deficit?  If only the Republican Congress played ball?  If only the economy would grow faster?  If only, if only, if only… [Read more…]

The Zentrist Guide To Fiscal Conservatism, Part One

[Editor’s Note: People talk about “fiscal conservatism” a lot. What is this mysterious thing that never seems to actually happen when those who preach its importance actually gain control of the levers of power? New contributor Zentrist will clue you in.]

As someone who thinks of himself as a centrist who leans fiscally conservative, I can only shake my head at what seems to pass for conservatism these days.  [Read more…]

Enter The Lovely Miss XXX

Hi guys & galz,

I’m XXX, a long time reader of this tacky sleaze but a first time contributor, so please be gentle!

You must have so many questions for me, like:

Are you nuts?
I wonder about that sometimes, like basically the entire ~4 months that the state legislature is in session.

Why are you associating with these characters?
Because I’ve seen people reading it and heard people talking about it. I hadn’t really thought of contributing, but I genuinely believe that some of their recent stuff would (with some editing, LOL) be worthy of some of the better comedy blogs/websites in Amerika.

[Editor’s note: BLUSH… Ohstop… Tell us more.] [Read more…]

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