The Morning Wood Is A Shell of Its Former Self

What can you say about the Chargers in the second half that hasn’t already been said about Afghanistan? Those motherfuckers were bombed-out and depleted, thinking they’d already won a game that was only half over.

And now, the silliness begins.

Can you beLIEVE there are still those holding on to the notion that Denver should not have signed Peyton fucking Manning? Can you beLIEVE that there are folks out there who think the only quarterback capable of a comeback lives in New Jersey and wears number 15?

I want you to think about the idea of Tim Tebow still being this team’s starter, and whether Denver would have won that game last night. And if you think there’s any chance — any at all, even with Tebow’s god-given comebacks — I want you to punch yourself in the face, dunk your head in water, punch yourself again, and rejoin all of us in reality.

The answer is no. No way. No chance. Tim Tebow’s record against good teams (as the Chargers most certainly are, though they obviously don’t know how to salt away a game after giving up a 10 point lead last week and a 24 point lead last night) is abysmal. YES, “he beat” the Steelers in the playoffs, a team that was injured and old and not all that good, and gave us a wonderful memory. I know. The idea of him leading a comeback of 24 points while throwing the football is laughable, and the truth is he likely would have derped around until the fourth quarter, finally getting two touchdowns in garbage time near the end.

Not good enough.

Know who is good enough? Denver’s new quarterback. And I submit that it’s games like last night which make you go out and pay nearly $100 million for Peyton Manning.

As for me, I’m a wreck. After a game in which I’d nearly written off my team for the remainder of the season based on one half of absolutely pathetic football, turned my attitude (and it can be argued, the team) around by switching up my beer drinking strategy (from Coors Banquet to weightier craft offerings, and drinking much, much more). Obviously, I was the difference. Then I hit The Spot for a few shots and celebratory fistpumps. And I woke up still #drunj.

Obviously, I won too. [Read more…]

Enough Already – The Post-Mortem of Your 2012 Colorado Rockies

Seems like a lifetime ago.

ROOT Sports mercifully took a day off of broadcasting the Colorado Rockies on Thursday. It’s about time. The Rockies pitching staff took yet another day off, giving up eight runs (“only” six earned) against the hapless Oakland A’s offense. The defense did not help, tallying three errors in yet another indication of the mess that is the 2012 Colorado Rockies.

In the three-game homestand against the A’s (not exactly the ’27 Yankees, let alone the ’04 A’s), the Rockies have blown two early leads, have been simply blown out, and have given up no fewer than eight runs in a game. As of EOB on Thursday, and with exactly 100 games remaining in the Nightmare of 2012, the Rockies are 24 – 38, 15 – 21 at home, and 9 – 17 on the road.

Stick a fork in it. This season is over. [Read more…]

The Good, The Bad, and The Rockies

In the opening days of the 2012 base-ball season, this Rockies fan is hopeful that lessons have been learned, that this year’s team will be better, and that championship-level baseball will once again fill the Coors diamond. Since the trade of Ubaldo Jimenez to Cleveland in July 2011, Dealin’ Dan has been hard-at-work, ridding the team of perceived problems and acquiring assets in the effort to resuscitate this flailing franchise.

In addition to Mr. Jimenez, the faithfully departed from the 2011 team include: starting catcher Chris Ianetta, starting right fielder Seth Smith, utility outfield Ryan Spilborghs, closer Huston Street, starting third baseman Ian Stewart, and shockingly-effective pitcher Kevin Millwood. Out with the old, and in with a new old. The prominent additions to the 2012 team include aging catcher Ramon Hernandez, ageless wonder Jamie Moyer, 36-year old second baseman Marco Scutaro, approximately 8 ½ 5th starter candidates, Cubs cast-off Tyler Colvin, innings-eater (never a good sign as the defining trait of a new staff ace) Jeremy Guthrie, and sweet-swinging clubhouse presence Michael Cuddyer. At least this offseason has kept the transaction wire company. [Read more…]

Schadenfreude: lol Boston

Boston’s Manager:

Boston’s mascot:

Boston’s record:


Me, when thinking about Boston’s record:

Suck it, Boston.

The Cardinals Win Again

I don’t especially care for the St. Louis Cardinals.  I did enjoy their miraculous run to the 2011 World Series championship, and I admire the organizational consistency that seemingly places the Cardinals in relevant baseball games well into September annually.  The organization is run with a very large pair of stones, as evidenced by the decision this off-season to decline offering Albert Pujols the premiere contract on the open market.

[Read more…]

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