If Pen Pals Got Drunk

Dear You,

I regret to inform you that I am hammered right now adn therefore cannot be responsible for anything I may have done, nor anything that I will regrt doing in the mornin. LOL! JK!

Sometimes I think we don’t understand each other, in spite of our magical afternoon together at Six Flags Over Texas ™ in Arlington, and in spite of me stealing you a Wile E. Coyote keychain in the gift shop (seriously though: true story; remind me sometime and I shall regale you with the whatever the fuck and yadda yadda) you totes left me out to dry while you went and rode the SkyScreamer, which, I’m sorry, it needs to be said, just sounds like the ride provided by a Mimbo. (COOL GUY? What are you, in eighth grade?)

Well I’m sorry if I can’t get you free pie.


Ur pen pal,


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