The Morning Wood: Denial Edition

He still doesn’t get it.

We really honestly and truly did not expect to be writing about one W. Mittens Romney again in this space, at least not for a while, until he decides it’s still “his turn” and reinvents himself — AGAIN — to be what he thinks voters want from a President of Central Casting.

But His High Lord Hairgel, Captain Haircut, Lord Just For Men, King Touch of Gray, just cannot stay out of our hearts and minds for very long. Don’t call it a comeback!

It seems Mr. Romney is not only shocked with the result of last week (which we knew, because he said he was “shocked” that he didn’t win), he’s back to insulting both the people whose votes he courted, as well as the President’s path to victory, by claiming that the President “focused on giving small, targeted groups a big gift,” while Mittens faced “big issues for the whole country.” Not mentioned on the call were Romney’s 47% remarks, which probably sunk his battleship, or the fact that he lost single women by 37% (!) or more than 7/10 Hispanics went for Obama (!!) or that more than 9/10 African Americans went for Obama (!!!). Not mentioned were his changing stances on everything from his tax policy to abortion rights.

None of this would have happened if you people had done what was right and listened to Egg Romney instead of ignoring her when she told you that her husband was deserving of the Presidency and that you were so lucky to have someone running like Mittens.

Stupid people. Don’t even know what’s best for yourselves.

Been a while since we talked sports in this space, but I reckon it’s time to get back to good on that matter. And speaking of denial, it turns out the San Diego Chargers, who are not a good football team and followed up their second-half loss at home to Denver with a 7-6 loss to Cleveland (HA!) and a loss to the Buccaneers, refuse to say that this Sunday’s matchup with the AFC West-leading Denver Broncos at Sports Authority Field is “a must win.” Because they’re morons who are coached by Norv Turner, who likely encourages them to put their collective head in the sand and keep it there for the duration of the season. Because Norv Turner is a horrible head football coach.

Of course, they’re the only ones who are saying that.

Also, too, don’t worry about God’s Fullback®. He’s going to be just fine after inking a deal with TiVo (because their names rhyme! Get it?). Oh, and Timmy T is now destroying his second team in the pros with his lack of quarterbacking ability. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

And if you want to see what a real quarterback looks like, Peyton Manning was on Sound FX this week. Yeah. It’s pretty damn awesome.

Good talk. Enjoy Thursday, bitches.

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