Quoth the Morning Wood: “Gobble Gobble”

It’s here! It’s here! November is here!

And while you folks in the chattering/slave class may not be so excited, aristocrats like The Bunk and I simply love it. Skiing returns to most mountains in Colorado around Thanksgiving, college and pro football starts really heating up, and the Thanksgiving holiday gives us an excuse to gorge ourselves on food that isn’t from McDonald’s.

It is a special time.

Of course this year we’ve also got the erection election, so this particular November is a bit more compelling and interesting than most.

Like most people, I’m sick of the election. I think undecided voters are just looking for attention (and getting it) from the campaigns and the evil LIBRUL MEDEYA ILEET, and I’m tired of getting lied to by Romney on the daily. I’m tired of checking a million polls and being told something totally laughably false by chuckleheads like Zach Morris’s dad Dick.

I voted already. You should get on that as well. And remember, Colorado (and elsewhere): ballots need to be mailed today (with extra postage!) in order to make it to the county clerk’s office on time. And if you don’t want to deal with some disgruntled postal worker throwing away your ballot, you can always take it yourself to the polling places (HANDY MAP!) and drop it in the locked box yourself. You can also take your ballot on Election Day, but that’s going to be a pain in the ass for you, so maybe take care of it early instead. The end.

You may have heard that there was some sort of a storm the other day(s) on the East Coast, and that the damage was fairly severe. Here’s a pretty good gallery of the destruction (and if “Gallery of Destruction” isn’t the name of some shitty LA-based metal band by close of business today, I will be outraged) in and around New York City.

New York’s third-rail Subway system is, naturally, completely underwater. What salt water can mean for a subway system.

And if you’re wondering just what His Lord High Hairgel Sir Mittens of Romneyshire would do if he were President during an emergency like Hurricane Sandy, just look eastward to Peabody, Mass.

Mitt, that great defender of a small government, who said just last year that it was “immoral” to have a federal response to emergency that costs money which could be used to prop up our lazy-ass grandchildren (LAYABOUTS!), is now attempting to reassure people that his administration totally wouldn’t screw them over, or make them call a hotline with their credit cards in hand to offset the cost of rescue. So that’s comforting.

Of course, yesterday Mitt probably promised to stop any hurricanes before they started. There is no science to back that sort of thing up. Not that science really plays into it for the GOP anyway, but… good to know.

Here’s The Rock’s Halloween costume. It is better than your sexy ghost costume, sir.

We’ll be back later to help you make money at the hands of those evil Las Vegas bookies. Happy November, y’all.


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