The Morning Wood: It Begins

Oh my goodness, you guys, we’re one week away from election day in Amercia and things are really starting to heat up. Not just the talking points from both sides, or both sides defending their records. And I’m not just talking here about Lord High Hairgel Sir Mittens of Romney flat-out lying to the good people of Ohio about Chrysler/Jeep’s plan to move factories overseas… and then doubling down on that lie… and then repeating that lie in a campaign commercial.

All of those things happened too. To the point where even Chrysler made a statement to the newspapers about it. To the block quote!

“Despite clear and accurate reporting, the take has given birth to a number of stories making readers believe that Chrysler plans to shift all Jeep production to China from North America and therefore idle assembly lines and US workforce,” Chrysler spokesman Gualberto Ranieri wrote on the automaker’s website. “It is a leap that would be difficult even for professional circus acrobats.”

Translation: Mitt Romney is kind of a dick, and we swear to god if our employees start bothering HR with this shit, we will personally come down there, take off our pants, and kick someone in the balls.

At least someone is starting to report on this shit. It’s been a long time coming, specifically for this Republican nominee, who never met an eye he couldn’t stare deeply into while bullshitting its owner. The headlines in Ohio today are treating poor Mitt like Hurricane Sandy is treating the east coast, and Ann is nowhere nearby to tell them to be nicer because of all the nice things Mitt is trying to do for you guys.

MOAR BLOCK QUOTE PLEEZ (this one from that Washington Post story linked above):

Amazing. It isn’t just that Romney is willing to lie brazenly to the people whose votes he wants; he’s also willing to play directly on their fears for their livelihoods.


All of these things are important, as they could have an impact on the election. You know, the impact of some haircut stealing the Presidency, along with more seats in Congress down the ticket. Yikes.

HowEVAH, I want you to rest easy with the knowledge that Mitt doesn’t just lie with his words; he’s also perfectly happy to lie with his staff, and just try to limit the number of people who can get out and vote.

I know you’re not going to believe this, but stories out of Wisconsin today make the case that Romney/Ryan-trained vote watchers there have been trained to intentionally mislead voters at the polls.

So, yeah. Maybe get out there and vote early. We would love to have someone write in this space about what to do if/when you’re turned away from the polls for any reason. If you’re interested, hit us up on our Facebook or @DailyDickpunch on Twitter.


  1. […] As Magic Sam chronicled yester-day, Willard, Lord High Mittens de Romneyshire is having a rough go of it in Ohio, a state he needs to […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: