The Morning Wood is a Dumb Jock

Um, yes actually.

OH HEY, it’s you again.

And it’s Monday.


Le sigh.

Let’s get this over with.

Chill out, libtards. No matter what the national land-line polls might suggest, His Lord High Hair Gel Mitt Romney has a small and diminishing chance of Giving Crypto-racist Americans Their Country Back, because of swing state polling that remains doggedly in the favor of Bammerz Hussein, the Kenyan Usurper. 

*The New York San Francisco Giants won the World Series last night you guys, dispatching the Detroit Tigers 4-3 in 10 innings for a comprehensive 4-0 sweep of the best-of-seven series. Your intrepid correspondent watched precisely one inning of this series: the tenth inning yesterday. Once the recent Colorado Rockies reject and National League Championship Series most valuable player Marco Scutaro drove in the go-ahead run in the top of the inning, the Giants’ closer Sergio Romo had only one thing to do, and he did it masterfully. Young master Romo, who had a much better Sunday than his distant cousin Tony Romo, struck out the top of the Tigers’ order with a filthy, filthy slider that left the Triple Crown winner Miguel Cabrera staring at strike three and handed a second championship in three years to the Giants.

*NBC has won the rights to broadcast real football from across the pond, paying a cool $250 million over the next three years for the broadcasting rights to the Barclays® English Premier League. This is the second big footy announcement in a week for ‘Merican aficionados of the world’s game, and it has given your correspondent a raging Tebowner.

Speaking of teh footy, Everton F.C. and Liverpool F.C. faced off in the 218th Merseyside Derby yesterday. The two teams, whose respective stadiums are separated only by half a mile of scenic Stanley Park in north Liverpool, enjoy a friendly but white-hot rivalry whose results determine intra-family bragging rights for years on end. Yesterday’s encounter in Premier League play was a thrilling 2-2 draw that could just have easily have been 5-5, with Liverpool having a legitimate goal ruled out for offside with virtually the last kick of the game.

*In other football newz, your hometown Denver Broncos made the fading New Orleans ‘Aints look pedestrian on both sides of the footbaw last night, winning 34-14 at home on national TeeVee thanks to stifling defense and the fifth consecutive 300 yard passing performance from the bionic wonder, Peyton Manning.

The Doncos’ 2012 schedule is a tale of two distinct halves. The six games prior to their Week 7 bye featured opposition with a combined winning percentage well above .600; the fact that they managed to emerge from that gantlet relatively unscathed at 3-3 is a good indicator of where the Broncos are in their rebuilding from Josh McDaniels’ failed tenure.

Holding one’s own against likely Super Bowl™ attendees in the Hotlanta Falcons and Houston Texans is promising, and the remainder of their schedule suggests that the Broncos could yet have something to say about who represents the ‘Merican Football Conference on February 3 in scenic New Orleans, Louisiana. The combined winning percentage of the final 10 teams on the Broncos’ 2012 regular season schedule is just above .300, leading to not-entirely-unrealistic speculation that the Broncos could win out and challenge for home field advantage throughout the playoffs with a 13-3 record. They’re 1/10th of the way there, and the only games that stand out as potential banana peels are next week at Cincinnati and Week 15 away to Baltimore.

Heady days to be a Broncos fan, bro-skis, but I wouldn’t know anything about that. I was betrothed as a child to the Washington Redskeeins, and my loyalty has withstood the test of almost two decades of Dan Snyder. I’ll be back a bit later to give you football fans the rundown of them SKINZ’s latest outing, a thoroughly disappointing 27-12 rain-soaked loss at the House of Rape(lisberger).

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