The Cockpunch: Rule of Law Edition

In just a few minutes, the American peasantry will learn of the fate of the Dreaded Robomneycare, alternatively known to attorneys and undersexed wonks as the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act.

The prognosticating experts of are in a bullish mood this morning, assigning a 73.5 percent probability that Johnny Roberts and the Supremes will rule that the individual mandate portion of O’Bummercare is odious to the memory of our nation’s Founding Slave Owners.

Libtardz all over the land are wringing their soft, effeminate hands over the possible death of the individual mandate at the, uh, hands of a delegitimized, nakedly political court. HOWEVAH, if this provision is struck down but mandatory coverage for pre-existing conditions is kept in place, the private health insurance industry will go belly up in a few short years. This is actually the best possible outcome if you want ‘Merica to join the rest of the civilized world and adopt a single-payer national health system but don’t mind cracking a few eggs (euphemism for allowing some sick poors to die) to get there. 

This may be the most ethically challenged ‘Merican High Court since the days of Roger Taney, thanks to the breathtakingly privileged attitudes of Senator Nino Scalia (R-The Vatican) and known sex weirdo Clarence Thomas to things like the appearance of a conflict of interest (in Scalia’s case) and in the case of laid-back bubble gum chewer Herr Thomas an outright conflict so egregious it would be grounds for appeal to a higher court, oh wait there isn’t one. Ahahaha sucks for you, go barter some farm animals and sexual favors for your chemo, you plebeian scum.

On to the links I say!

In case there was any doubt, conditions in Europe are reaching 1931 levels of desperation. Here’s a good article from The Atlantic explaining what Europe actually has to do to solve its problems, and how politically intractable the situation is in the short run. In the meantime the European Central Bank will have to step up huge, essentially assuming most/all of the debt of the eurozone’s basketcase periphery.

Former Colorado Governor Bill Owens (R) was correct when he said our whole state was on fire, he just said it ten years too early. The Waldo Canyon Fire is burning within the city limits of Colorado Springs, having scorched entire subdivisions of tacky McMansions in a stunning victory for good taste. The oogedy-boogedy Jesus necromancers of Christian Springs should take this as a sign that Islam is the One True Faith, but they’ll probably just blame Obama. Hey homeless fire victims, how’s that hopey-changey stuff workin’ out for ya? What, huh? FUCK YOU!

If the residents of Colorado Springs lived their val-yoos, they’d turn down federal emergency assistance and instead fight the fire individually, with guns. This is their comeuppance; your correspondent says let the whole town burn.

In all seriousness though, our beloved state is burning and we’re donating money to volunteer operations responding to the flames all over the state, and we would request that you do likewise. Thanks.

At 2:45 pm Eastern, ze Germans and the Eye-talians will square off in an Axis Powers grudge match to determine who gets to chase after Spain for 90 minutes on Sunday. Die Wehrmacht will win, because that is what they do, so what who cay-uhs?

The existence of Tebow-tards has been confirmed, by Science!™ Have you noticed that the people who loved the Teebs and defended his, uhh, alternative style of quartered-backing play all just happened to be conservative Xtians? A recent Colorado Public Policy Poll proves that the Jesus people are not only sectarian with respect to who they want in public office, but also who they want under center.

Christians are the reason America can’t have nice things.

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