Race Week Finale: Are YOU a Racist?

Well, ARE you?

If nothing else, we wanted people to look in the mirror at themselves this week and decide if their behavior and words are acceptable, or if maybe there are some things they could change to be more human, more accepting. At the end of the day, we’re all people. We all have ups and downs. All of us, regardless of color or creed, are lazy, jobless, or successful. All of us, regardless of race or religion, are smart or stupid or something in between. In every single case, it has nothing to do with a person’s racial makeup and everything to do with their desire to succeed, or the breaks they’ve gotten over time, or whose vagina they fell out of.

And that is why racism is fucking stupid. Racists are fucking stupid (especially when they claim not to be racists but they CLEARLY are).

Here at this esteemed news magazine, we’ve been known to go over some lines from time to time. We mock racists on the regular here because it’s a good thing to do. If you can shame an ignorant, racist bastard into shutting his trap and hurting fewer people with his racist garbage, you’ve done a service for the world. And we, the proprietors of DailyDickpunch.com, are nothing if not servants to our country.

So. Racism, bad. Got it?

But there’s another problem intertwined here as well. White people who just have to get involved with defending the culture and heritage of others, and end up going WAY over the line. From overreactions to commercials to throwaway lines in articles, White Amerika is oftentimes guilty of claiming racism where no racism exists.

Now, I’m all for calling out racism when I see or hear it, and you should be too. But what we don’t need are these professional outrage-ists who jump on anything that might portray one ethnic group or another in a stereotypical way. At some point, we’re going to have to be able to laugh about our differences. Differences make us interesting, they make us unique, they make us funny.

Guess what? I’m white, and I can’t dance. HOLY SHIT, THASS RAYCESS!

Dave Chappelle portrays African Americans getting reparations checks and using their newfound wealth to purchase a truckload of cigarettes, start record labels, and finally pay their phone bills. HOLY SHIT, THASS RAYCESS!

Ashton Kutcher portrays a Bollywood producer named Raj in an ad for Pop Chips (whatever the fuck those are) using brown makeup and an over-the-top accent in a faux dating ad. HOLY SHIT, THASS RAYCESS!

The problem is that when everything is viewed as racist, the real racists get away with it. Because if everything is racist, then nothing is.

If we take trivial garbage like Ashton’s stupid, unfunny ad for what appears to be a company that makes chips that have warts, and label it as “racist,” and spend our time trying to get the ad removed, we take attention away from actual racism happening right before us. We’re talking about banks taking advantage of minorities to sell bad home loans. We’re talking about legislators trying to steal the right to vote from minorities, or a neighborhood watchman gunning down an innocent black kid because “he looks like trouble.”

THAT is racism. THAT is what we all should be working to end.

When we confuse trivial shit for something as serious as racism, we all lose.

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