Fare Thee Well, Timothy

The time to go has come.

It is expected that today, Denver’s flirtation with the heavens will come to an end, as Timothy Richard Tebow, the polarizing figure at the sharp point of the Denver Broncos’ resurgence in 2011, will likely be dealt out of town to make room for — depending on who you’re hearing from — Peyton Manning’s forehead or John Elway’s ego, or both.

The truth is much less interesting than that.

The Broncos are replacing an ineffective passer with an effective passer. Not just an effective passer, but a Hall of Fame passer with more than 50,000 passing yards on his resume. That puts him third on the all time list. He also completes upwards of 65% of his passes. And he’s replacing a guy who can’t complete 50%.

And people are somehow upset about this. They’ve said that Johns Fox and Elway have done Tim Tebow wrong. That Tim Tebow “deserved” another chance to lead this offense.


Using the parlance of our time, that deserves a “lulz.”

Folks, this is not Matt Cassell they’re bringing in. It’s not Mark Sanchez and it is not Blaine Gabbert (though I think Denver could acquire Gabbert in a trade with Jacksonville for Tebow). It’s Peyton Fucking Manning. An all-time great. If it was one of those marginal quarterbacks who has never accomplished anything more than playing the position of quarterback poorly, the Tebow defenders might have a point. But it’s not, and they don’t.

Tim Tebow is not a good quarterback. Let’s start there. He’s one hell of an athlete, and yes, his will to win is unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. But at some point, “will to win” must meet “ability” and so far Tim Tebow has not shown the basic abilities required of a position where you’re expected to throw the ball.

It’s a shame, because he might already be the best fullback in NFL history, but he refuses to give up his dream of playing QB professionally.

I’d love to see him give that up, and I’d love to see him stay, and I’d love to see if he could learn from Peyton and actually become something that resembles a quarterback. I have my doubts, but I’d be very curious. But he won’t, and more than that, his extra vocal superfans — the ones who have dominated sports talk radio in the last two years, ripping everyone from John Elway to Miles the Mascot — won’t let it happen. Their victim complex is too deep-seeded; they see this move as anti-Christian. They will not let Tim Tebow carry the ball silently through the line as a fullback.

That, my dear readers, is a shame.

D. Orlando Ledbetter (probably a fake name, but we’re moving on) wrote in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution yesterday that the Falcons would have interest in the Florida product, but if he was the coach the talk would go like this: “Timmy, you’re not a quarterback son,” Coach Led would say. “But you could play the next 10 years as my fullback/H-back. Here’s jersey No. 45 and a video disc of Marv Hubbard, Earl Campbell and Larry Csonka. Go to the church and pray about this and hopefully we’ll see you in the morning.

“When we get on the goal line or in short-yardage we might let you get in there and throw that little jump-pass thingy you guys did at Florida. But we need you to wrap your arms around the fact that you’re not a quarterback.”

It’s true. Tim Tebow is not a quarterback. I’ve been saying this for months.

Peyton Manning is. John Elway is.

But Tim Tebow is not.

It’s time to accept the facts, Tebow fans. Accept that he won’t be in Denver anymore, and accept that we’re now in a better position to win championships.That as nice as the feel-good story is, it’s not replacement for another Lombardi Trophy at Dove Valley.

And that’s what matters.



  1. And just like that my love for you has grown. So smart. And so right.

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